Honing Communication Skills — An Adjunct Modality in the Treatment of Addictive Behavior I heard this old adage again last week in my Rancho Mirage office. It often crops up when the clients and their loved ones do not seem to be listening to one another. As a therapist, I try to help them focus not only on what they are saying but also on how they are listening to each other. Clients often ask themselves, “Why am I not getting the response I want?” Perhaps they are not speaking clearly or listening closely enough to what the other party is saying. Kids, and particularly adolescents are very quick, and perhaps you need to listen more closely to child to know how and when to respond appropriately. The goal of many Marriage and Family Therapists is to help family members and couples to communicate more clearly with each other — to say what they mean and mean what they say but don't say it mean. The most common conditions I treat are addictions to alcohol, drugs, gambling, nicotine, food, sex, as well as other disorders such as codependency. Another prevalent form of “drug abuse” can come from the addiction to prescription medication for anxiety or pain. The Betty Ford Center and other treatment centers focus primarily on chemical dependency, however, we often see other behavioral addictions. Regardless of the addictive process, teaching the addict how to hone their communication skills is an important dimension of the therapy for addiction. The capacity to listen and speak effectively is noticeably impaired by stress and lack of a support system. The lack of fellowship, a phenomenon described as “herding” by Ruden, also impairs communication. Thus, clients sometimes need to be referred for stress management or one of the appropriate 12 step programs like Alcoholics Anonymous, Gamblers Anonymous or Codependents Anonymous ((click here for links to these and similar programs)) or other appropriate recovery programs. Taken together, all of these modalities theoretically work because they induce centers in the brain to secrete neurotransmitters that help to stabilize the client and propel the recovery process. Finally, as psychotherapists, by showing the client how to improve their communication skills, we teach them how to make healthier choices. And by doing so, we impart the message that “With help there is hope!” Gary Lange, Ph.D. Gary@GaryLangePhD.com